At the completion of the lesson, Jeshua often answers questions read to him on behalf of students.
How do I not keep one love for myself and yet continue loving myself?
Indeed, beloved friend, it is a question well asked about a very subtle, but important, point as one comes to live a fully Christed Life. When I said not to keep one love for yourself, I was indicating that the egoic mind looks upon forms of any kind, whether it be person, place, or thing, and projects its love onto it, and then misperceives it as a source of Love.
There is nothing outside of you that serves as a source for Love. One of the great tricks of the mind, in the human experience, is that when the mind experiences Love, it forgets that it is experiencing It because it is making a decision to do so. It believes, then, that something outside of itself has had the power to change its own state. But this is not so. Therefore, those "loves" become attachments. They are idols. And that would be another word to use for the love that you should not keep for yourself.
Make not an idol of that through which you've experienced Love. Make not an idol of the great physical lover who gives you ten thousand orgasms in a single night - hmm? Do not keep that love for yourself. Do not seek to possess that one for your own selfish reasons. Do not seek to possess the money that comes to you and to hoard it up in barns to save against a rainy day. For that will only ensure that you will experience a rainy day.
Keep not one love for yourself. How, then, can you experience self-love if you're not keeping one love for yourself? Beloved friend, the answer is just the opposite. How can you experience self-love when you are caught up in trying to possess the loves that you would see as outside of yourself? Self-love requires surrendering attachment to the illusions that you have formed about those things - persons, places, or things - that you think are sources of Love. Think about it. It's a hundred-and-eighty-degree turn.
You do not love yourself, you see, by bringing more of the things into your life that you say you love. That is a great mistake. If you say,
Oh, I absolutely love shoes.
You will then see that "shoeness" is a source that has a magical power that can trigger a change of heart and mind in you. And you will then take the dollars that flow to you, and every time your energy drops, you'll think,
And you'll run out and you'll buy yet another pair to get a temporary fix.
You will think you have loved yourself by giving the things to yourself that you think you love. That is not truly self-love, although it is a great beginning point when working with someone who is totally insane; that is, totally caught up in egoic consciousness - so much so that they won't even allow themselves to enjoy their egoic state of consciousness. It is very wise, then, to say to one,
Oh, you like ice cream? Very well, give yourself total permission to have all the ice cream you want.
It's not the ice cream that matters. It's the act of recognizing and re-cultivating the ability to feel and receive enjoyment - that's all.
But as that begins to mature, you begin to see through the transparency of the things of the world. You come to see that you can give yourself enjoyment by taking a deep breath, stretching the arms out with the palms up, and receiving Love. Nothing has to change around you. You don't have to eat anything. You don't have to sex the body. You don't have to accomplish anything great in the world. You need only receive the presence of Love.
Self-love, then, actually comes to grow the more you release attachment to the idols of love that you have created in the world. A woman who "loves" her garden in the back yard because it gives her so much enjoyment - not quite true. She decides to bring enjoyment to the act of gardening, while the neighbor next door can merely have a garden to try to keep up with the Jones's, but hates every moment of it.
It is not the garden that creates joy. It is the decision to bring joy to the activity of gardening. And then, you see, the lady can never leave her house, can never move away, because,
Oh, my god! I can't give up my garden. It's the source of my greatest joy!
And that woman stays in the same house until the day she dies, pushing away her dreams of seeing Europe. Pushing away her dreams of swimming with a dolphin. Why? Because the garden has become the thing with the power to give her joy.
Hold not one love for your self.
Let it go. Let it become transparent. Do not be attached to it. Learn to recognize that in any given moment, when you are experiencing Love, it's because you've decided to. You are the one who has brought enjoyment to the context of the moment. The thing, in itself, is neutral. Power is not outside of you.
How, then, can you let go of the loves of the world that you have created and still love yourself? By holding what I've just shared with you, by sitting with it, by putting it into practice, by recognizing, more and more deeply, that when you are doing what you love, it's because you have first decided to open your heart in Love, and then take action. If you love to sing, it is the Love that is present first. And then you sing. The singing doesn't cause love for yourself.
Therefore, indeed, beloved friend, contemplate well what I have shared with you. For the great paradox of the mystical Christed Mind is to see that there's nothing to hold onto in the world because there is no world. There is only the Reality of Love extending Itself through the temporary context of form. If you find yourself loving to make music, know that it is from Love that you are choosing to be a music maker, temporarily.
That should be sufficient for now.
Since we do not know what our brother or sister needs, is it possible that the Holy Spirit would guide us to say and do things that others would react vehemently to, such as You did when You yelled and got angry at the moneychangers? Is it true that we can't put a lid on how the guidance of the Holy Spirit would sound or look?
By its very nature, the guidance of the Holy Spirit comes from beyond the realm of ideas and perceptions that the mind identifies itself with. If you think of a room in a house as being where you normally abide, you know all the furniture, you've identified it all, you've defined it, it's under your control. In such a room, when you go to access the answer for a problem or a situation that has arisen, you can only go to what you already know.
That is what the egoic mind tries to do, even when it begins to receive into its "room" new ideas - spiritual ideas, metaphysical ideas, religious ideas, magical mean ideas. It still is in the realm of the known and so, when a situation comes up, it rummages around the room looking for something it knows is already there. And it looks for what it thinks will be the device, the word, the phrase, the action, that is the right thing. But this is the very same thing as saying that you already know what you need to say or do. But you do not have that knowledge in the room in which the ego lives.
That space or channel, that we spoke of earlier, through which Love can inform your decisions, requires that you recognize it is beyond the context of the room that you're used to living in. The mind, as you know it - your daily mind - can operate only in a closed universe of what it already knows.
Therefore, in a given situation, the Holy Spirit may have said to you,
Take this homeless brother into your house and fix him a good meal.
And so, you've done it. Now, ten years later, there is another homeless man outside your door. You rummage around in the past, and you see that once you brought this person in and you fed him,
Oh, this must be the solution because this is my "homeless person" tape. I just pulled it out of my dresser drawer in my egoic mind.
And then you set about to act on that and you discover that that homeless man steals everything in your house. You've forgotten that there was a time when a homeless man appeared and you didn't know what to do. You let go of everything you thought you knew and you asked in prayer. This same way of not knowing is the ultimate state of Knowing. Knowing that the egoic mind does not know is the source of powerful Knowing.
Therefore, could it be the case that the Holy Spirit would guide you to say or do something that might cause others to act, or react, vehemently? Indeed, beloved friends - yes! But remember this: the Holy Spirit's guidance is not what is causing another to react vehemently. Their own mind causes that, because they are not committed to healing and to Love. Any reaction that is not the extension of Love must be fear, and nothing else. Any form of attack or judgment can come only from fear, and not from Love.
Therefore, when I felt guided to approach the moneychangers in front of my Father's holy temple, I was not guided to say:
Excuse me, could we have a slight conference here? I would like to express a slight opinion, and of course, you're totally free to do what you will, because you're actually very powerful, rich beings and I am just a lonely Essene. But if you'd just give me a minute, I'd just like to share my thought.
No.I was guided to move with great power, to literally act in the ways that some would call violence - not that I hurt anybody, but I overturned their tables and I yelled deeply that,
You have made my Father's house a den of thieves!
Now, that got their attention. Why? Because the Holy Spirit saw that those minds engaged in those activities could respond only to a powerful energy, since they idolized power, itself. They were always putting themselves in the position of having more power than the people who came to the temple. So, what was required was someone who put themselves in a greater source of power and demonstrated that the moneychangers were not as powerful as they thought. They couldn't imagine, before that moment, that anybody would upset their apple cart. But through that act, it began to create what you might call a rattle in their mind and their being as their reality was shaken up a bit. And some of them began to ponder what it was that they were doing with their lives.
Now, if I was attached to my own safety, if I was attached to being liked, I would not have allowed that expression of the Holy Spirit to be made manifest. And that is what far too many in your world tend to do:
Oh, if I say what just came to my mind, I may not be liked. But I'm really committed to being liked, while pretending to live a spiritual life.
But indeed, beloved friend, the way of Atonement, the way of service, is not a popularity contest.
Therefore, indeed, precious friend, understand well, you have no idea what your brother or sister needs - from a gentle kiss on the cheek to a swift kick in the ass. But if you are committed to Love, to innocence, to freedom, to trust, and if you choose to access the perfect freedom of your channel of communion with God, and not to react from the egoic mind, then you will be guided as you need to be. And as you choose to fulfill that purpose, you have fulfilled your own pathway into the depths of knowing God.
So, yes, the Holy Spirit is not a namby-pamby, strawberry jelly kind of energy. The Holy Spirit is committed to one thing: the Atonement. The Atonement occurs when illusions are shattered. The Holy Spirit knows what is required. And what is required may not always, shall we say, meet the approval of the social world in which you find yourself. But those afraid to rattle the cages of others are simply afraid. This means they run their life by fear and are more committed to their comfort or safety, which is to be committed to the insanity of the ego, and not to the freedom of Christed Consciousness.
Does that help with that question?
Response: Very much so.
Jeshua: Now, I'm not saying there is not an art involved in that. The degree to which you enact the suggestion of the Holy Spirit comes from your willingness to save not one love for yourself - to be unattached, to recognize that you are the student of the Holy Spirit. You see? Which is, of course, the cultivation of self-love.
Response: I see.
Jeshua: Indeed. So, have you anything else, or is that sufficient for now?
Response: There are no more questions for this tape, but if you want to continue elaborating on anything, I'm sure we'd all be happy to hear your message.
Jeshua: There is nothing further that we would choose to elaborate upon. We would ask you, however - each and every one listening to this tape: Find some way in which you allow yourself the experience of the pleasure of Love's presence. Do not let this day end, from the time you hear this tape until the time you sleep, find a way to enjoy the pleasure of Love's presence.
And with that, indeed,