You are so eloquent, I here it, but I feel a deep river ahead of me to forge, slow and easy.
I have been waiting for this day * I will read this over and over to let it sink in, I am so grateful
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Following is an interaction between Jayem and a student from our online program that we would like to share as it is valuable reading for everyone:
"I had started to feel like I was struggling" that my resistance was high. And then, the night before last I just felt broken. Lots of thoughts around conflict were coming up and I just felt that I was tired of fighting. And I prayed. And yesterday I had this experience of feeling this scared little child within me that didn't feel that it was safe to disagree with it's parents.
And it came to mind that, for all (or not) that I have practiced spiritually, there is still a part of me that gets drawn back to my parents (or the 'world's') beliefs or tries to persuade them to change theirs to be the same as mine. Which seems like a bit of a battle.
And it seems that in healing, Loving and thus transcending that child within me, it will help heal the conflict inside and thus free me... but also free my parents and others too."
EXCELLENT!
Inner disturbance is what this course is designed to do at levels the mind cannot protect against... and up comes the real crap!!!
You have been fused to, and held in, the vain hope and fearful need to get your parents/world to change IN ORDER TO FIND SAFETY, AND THEN ALLOW AUTHENTIC BEING TO BE LIVED.
It's a root core, and common aspect of the Dream of Separation.
I fall into fear, and lose touch with my true self as one with God.
I look outward, and see my parents/world, now the 'hoped' for source of survival, acceptance, and love BECAUSE I have lost these things.
I then generate a personality and strategies for getting survival, acceptance, love, and for avoiding what might seem to threaten them from being given to me. (I become the good boy/girl, I excel, I fit in, etc...)
IT WILL bring up such things as sadness, hopelessness, anger, etc... all in unique ways for each soul. But it is territory EVERY soul must pass through to awaken... asking:
Yes, it MAY free your parents, IF freedom is what their soul is ready to choose. Your task, and opportunity?
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