You are so eloquent, I here it, but I feel a deep river ahead of me to forge, slow and easy.
I have been waiting for this day * I will read this over and over to let it sink in, I am so grateful
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Here is a valuable piece of guidance from Jayem addressing a student's question and comments on an 'extreme shifts' from Union to Ego...
"Is anyone else feeling such extremes of beingness and then absolute despair?
Yesterday, I felt so profoundly in my truth after seeing through some lies, that I bought myself a beautiful bouquet of flowers, knowing within every fibre of my being that the energy pouring through me was those most beautiful flowers. That there was no difference. That God was flowing through me and with me.
Then by the evening, I felt in total despair as I felt I was totally blocking God's love and there was absolutely no hope for me. So much so, I managed to get myself stuck in a hotel bathroom as I couldn't open the door! (closed the door on God).
Today I'm resting in acceptance once more of there being nothing to fix and allowing myself to be however I am feeling, and the peace that comes with this.
But these extremes go beyond words. This critter is having a great time!"
This is completely to be expected. The difference between God&'s Reality and the Critter's contrasting substitute is the distance between east and west: absolute.
We have ALL elected separation and conditioned our being 'downward' from love to fear, from worthiness to unworthiness, from innocence to guilt for soooooo long that we convinced ourselves that the west IS the east!
As we heal truly, energy shifts. We experience revelation, remembrance of truth, surges of freedom and power and joy right into the cells of this body, and even more... these are all 'state' experiences: they arise and pass away... Why?
Because we are not used to 'holding' the frequency, and our habit is to turn down the thermostat. We haven't learned to breathe the light of spirit, we haven't learned to let God make every decision for us, we haven't learned... self-love, but we are on the way!!
As we weather these flip flops and deepen our ability to apply the tools of breath, inquiry, presence, allowing, allowing, allowing... we begin to 'settle in' to new ways of being as we recover our true self. Then the states become more or less permanent 'stages' from which we operate.The key is faith, allowance, self-forgiveness, curiosity: hmmm, I was humming along, but by evening... not! I wonder when this began to change...? What was I doing with my mind, my breath all day??? Who was I choosing to be as I entered moments of relationship? Where did I begin to let the habit of the critter, win?
I refer to this as 'catching the beat'... by deepening moment to moment presence/observation.
An example... let's say you are driving a car or sitting on an airplane... what do you DO with the time??? one could listen to the news on the radio while the mind worries about a family member... OR, you could make your home in the breathing, and silently (or not!) chant ahbwoon!!!! that is, use time for attunement, rather than the critters habits.
One thing Jeshua asked me to do was to do my best to notice when disturbance was beginning and simply say, 'I can choose peace instead of this' gently repeated, with breath. It helped break the bond with the critter's habits of thinking/perceiving.
And last but not least, we can come to fully enjoy the comedy show as we awaken to who we really are, and out of who we really are not, being astounded that such a journey ever came to be needed!!!! ya gotta have a good laugh...!!!!