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Jayem's Blog

JayemCorrecting Mistakes


Following is a response from Jayem, inspired by a question from A Course in Miracles teacher:

"When is it O.K. to correct another's mistakes? You probably run into this problem as often as I do. When you see someone you are close to making a huge mistake, do you tell him or her? Do you help them change their actions, or opinions, or desires? Well, here's what I discovered. Trying to correct another is just a step away from heading down that slippery slope to an all out emotional war..."

Jayem's reply:

Since there are no mistakes - only the eternally free use of the power of choice and the capacity to enlighten patterns of habitual choices - [I must be safe, I need to defend, etc.] what I have found works best is to stay vigilant to my own mind, detecting when the 'bug' of wanting to see 'mistakes' arises, and breathing the light of spirit through it, first.

THEN, simply asking a sincerely innocent and interested wonder question, such as: 'I am noticing a curiosity about the choice you are making. Would you be willing to share with me what you feel the pay off for it will be?

Does it come from relaxed peace, or do you notice tension in any of its forms present?

Are you sure it's the most self-loving choice?

Assume you have made it, and the effects have been experienced. Do you feel free, spacious, and whole?

In short, being present is of far greater use to Holy Spirit than beginning with 'being right', and to perceive a mistake is to have begun there.

There is nothing arising that does not nudge the dreamer toward the end of their dreaming, and all awakening arises from within. Better to provide the spaciousness of realizing they are free, and there is no way 'I' can know a 'huge mistake' is in the offing... UNLESS, again, I have already fallen prey to believing my 'own thoughts are real'.

When I remain vigilant to 'correct' real error - the one occurring in my perception - the Soul within me that is also the Soul in the other, can respond with presence, curiosity, and simple wisdom, permeating the moment in Love (the innocent spaciousness in which another MAY elect to 'see' into and through what may be running them...or not!)

Hmm, what IS our relationship to the belief in 'mistakes'? Why DO we feel compelled to 'correct', truly? Might there be a fear - in us - that needs the light of awareness???

For example, IF I feel the compulsion arising to correct another, I can ask: 'What do I believe their choice will mean? What is my fear of this imagined outcome?  Can I be absolutely certain I am 'right'?

Do I trust, truly trust, that the other is already in God's hands, or not?

Aaaah, yes, the urge to correct... a key subtle Separation device requiring 'turning the mind around' and looking into it... as always, there is a fear present in us actually upholding the impulse.

I suppose my answer to your question... 'When is it okay to correct another's mistakes?' is simply: NEVER. It assumes the fundamental error the entire ACIM rests on: 'You do not know what a single thing, is.' That is, I must believe that I DO, to perceive 'error' to begin with.

Jayem xx

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